What ever will be...

So miss Brynn came home from her moms yesterday, and i must say, she really is having a hard time adjusting. I feel for her. And I do not know what we can do to make it better for her. I mean the adjustment isn't in our home so what can we do that will make her feel better there? Or will we just suffer the consequences of there inaction?

I picked her up at her moms and when i got there she was whiny and clingy to her mom, who was holding the baby. Brynn wanted nothing to do with the baby, she wouldn't even say goodbye to her she refused to kiss her goodbye. She made her mom give her like 1o hugs before she left. Brynn usually doesn't act this way towards her mom. She usually gives one hug and is ready to go! It really breaks my heart to see Brynn feel this way. Ryan told me Brynn was having a hard week, and that she was having trouble adjusting. when we got in the car she told me that "im upset that the baby is here, I dont like listening to her. she makes me mad."
Later at dinner with some friends Brynn asked Steven "do you want to hold my hand?" and Steven said "oh no baby I'm eating right now" well Brynn got pissed! her response "don't you love me?" he of course responded with " of course i love you, but right now its time to eat dinner, you can hold my hand when we walk to the ice cream store"
Well that broke Stevens heart. He cannot understand how a 4 year old child can have such insecurities.
Our fear is that if at her other home, things are not handled to her emotional needs to help her adjust, By the time our baby comes she is going to be so resentful of the 1st baby, she will automatically be resentful of ours. This is a scary thought. I really hope next week her 3 days there are much better then this weeks.

Sorry for the Picture of the Picture, i will have to scan them later! But i wanted to share with you all! So based on the ultrasound i had this morning im due November 7th, Im measured at 7w5d! Which means im actually 9 weeks pregant, cause they go by your last period, not the baby growth! its all complicated. She said everything looks 100% great and we got to see the little heart beat! I teared up...and im sure steven did too, i couldnt look at him to see cause i didnt want to start bawling!

so here he is, BABY SPECK! for now that name will do. OH and Im hoping its a boy, Steven hopes for another girl....at least we know we have 50/50 odds!

Mary wrote blog about some of her childhood memories and asked the question "what are some of your favorite childhood memories?"
Looking back I had a great childhood, I think this lasted until my mom and step-dad divorced when i was 11.

Some of my greatest memories come from when i was just 3-4 years old. My grandfather, I called him POP. He was a great man, He loved to garden and fish, and he loved to share these things with me.

My parents divorced before i was 2, and my mom was young and my dad was "gone" so his parents stepped in to make sure i was OK and that i had the best life possible, I would stay with them 3-4 days a week.

We had a routine, everyday we did the same things...or that is how i remember it!

My pop would get up super early, walk to the local store read the paper and have coffee with the other old men. He would come home just as i would be getting up and make me hotcakes! we would make the batter together with a "special" ingredient that he would have in his shirt pocket, Ive come to know that it was vanilla, but back then it was just a "special" ingredient.

We would spend the morning working in the yard, we would come in and wash up, I loved this time because I would get to sit on the bathroom counter and watch pop shave. He shaved everyday before lunch he used and old fashioned shave kit, where you had a cup and a brush and you lathered up the foam in the cup and applied it to your face with the brush, i have this kit today, it sits atop a shelf in my room. (this isn't THE kit, but just so you get the idea!)
We would get our lunch and sit on the couch to eat it while we watched All my Children.
Then it would be nap time. After that was playtime, I remember vividly playing Lego's with him sprawled out all over the living room and also with "Little People" Back then they were made of wood, This was my favorite time. and then we always headed back outside!
My family is amazed at how much I remember him. They used to think that I only remembered him from the stories I've heard, as he died in July of 1987, i was just 4 1/2. But I assure you these are memories that are deep in my mind and if i close my eyes, its like I'm there, 21 years ago, right there on the living room floor. these are not stories i have heard, but times that we shared.
These are my best child hood memories, ones I will cherish till my dying days. I have other great memories, but to me nothing can top these ones.

so tomorrow at 8:45 I go to the dr for my 1st appt! Im so excited i just cant stand it! Steven was told he has to work tomorrow (his normal day off) so he told them he will be late obviously he isnt going to miss the ultrasound!

I have been having dreams almost every night that im carrying twins. this scares me for several reasons but also excites me. So if i go in there tomorrow and they say, "oh there's the baby, OH theres ANOTHER baby" I wont be too shocked.

Im just so anxious to get a due date and see the the little speck!

Ok i couldnt resist the urge to google peeps after grandmas post, and i found this, and i have to say this was perfect, its getting printed and put on my fridge! This one totally fits this family!

well last night Brynn officially became a big sister! her mom gave birth to a little girl. Brynn was uber excited, she could hardly sleep last night with the anticipation of meeting her new little sister.
last night she came to me and said, "mommy, in the morning do you think you could take me to the store so i can get the baby a present before i go see her?"
Brynn really is a very thoughtful child! Of course i said sure, and this morning before i took her to kaiser we went to target where Brynn picked out *sunglasses and socks!* hey who am i to judge its her sister! and that is what she wanted to get her! And she was so proud when she gave it to her mom!

the baby was in the NICU when we got there, she was having some breathing problems when she was born, but i hear now that she is doing better and Brynn has been able to see her and bonnie finally got to hold her.
oh...by the way, her name is Briar Rose. yeah....from sleeping beauty.... i guess there going to call her Bree....

after this I brought my hubbie lunch, and then went to try on some maternity fashions....that went OK, i got a few essentials and some sleep bras....i was exhausted after that and i really wanted and orange Julius...so i go up and order one, i was sooo excited....the girl takes my order, makes my drink hands it to me and as i hand her my card to pay she snatches the drink out of my hand like i stole it and says "um we don't take no cards her, you gots to use money" for real those were her words. OK first of all you saw my card in my hand when i ordered it cause i tried to hand it to you.....second learn some English biotch! man i wanted to bitch slap her with my bag of bras and steal the Julius and run....but then i remembered...I'm exhausted...i cant run...ERRR. so i had to settle for some lemonade. NOT SATISFYING I NEED ORANGE JULIUS!


well I'm off to take a nap, and then to pack some clothes, do some laundry...and wait for Steven to get home so we can head off to Sutter Creek For Easter at my Aunt Claudia's house, Unfortunately this is a child free Easter, Janel doesn't have her little step daughter either this year, but its good news for next year! then the girls will be together! so were going to color eggs, and have our husbands hide them for us! I'm sure this will be fun for them! eat lot of yummy food and i think i may actually attend sunrise service on Easter...well see how well i wake up, i hear sunrise is really early...the husbands I'm sure will not attend this..but they better have breakfast ready for us when we get home cause i will be hungry and ready for a nap!

happy Easter to you all!

the rooster will be packing his bags! he is moving to the other side of the ranch!

im very excited! and my landlord was very understanding! appearently he knows not to mess with a pregnant womens sleep!

So i have this great series of little books, its called if...(QUESTIONS FOR THE GAME OF LIFE)
It makes a great addition to any road trip, so i figure it would make a great addition to my blog!

so here goes my first questions to you!

*If you could ensure that your child have one experience that you have had your self, what would you want it to be?

-mine is that my children have the ability to really know, truly know all of there living grandparents, great...etc. My grandparents have made a profound impact in my life, with out them i would be a different person!

*If you had to loose one of your limbs which one would you sacrifice?
-I would have to say my foot. i really need both hands, i think i would do good

so what are your answers?

So yesterday at work I get a phone call from Steven. At first it sounded a little worrisome.... he says " Well I just made a complete ass out of my self in front of my daughter!"

"why? How" i asked him.

well he proceeded to tell me how he had been doing some yard work and then cleaning up the living room, (which he does a lot, cause he is great like that!) then he was getting ready to vacuum the living room.

****we used to use that stuff you sprinkle on your carpet to make it smell good, until i got a canister vacuum and realized how nasty that stuff was*******

Well he picked up a container that he THOUGHT was that carpet fresh stuff and began shaking it ALL over the living room floor when Brynn looked at him and started laughing, she then said threw her little giggle "Daddy, what are you doing? Why are you trying to grow the flowers in the living room?"

Steven said to her "NO BRYNN, THIS IS FOR THE CARPET, GO PLAY WHILE I FINISH."

well Brynn said "NO DADDY, MOMMY BOUGHT THAT FOR THE FLOWER GARDEN OUTSIDE, AND YOUR GONNA BE IN SOOOOO TROUBLE WHEN SHE GETS HOME THERES GONNA BE FLOWERS EVERYWHERE" then she walked away laughing at him!
Steven says he stopped what he was doing looked at the container in his hand and couldn't believe his eyes. He had just sprinkled BURPEE WILDFLOWER MIX all over our freshly cleaned carpets. (YEAH on Sunday I spent the whole day steam cleaning the carpets!) He felt really dumb, the poor thing! but it was really funny!


So when i got home last night, The first thing she said to me... "Daddy is in soooo trouble, he is trying to grow flowers in the carpet. I missed you today, whats for dinner?"

Is it possible? We will be finding out soon, im thinking in the next two weeks if we can get pre-qualified, and for what amount.

Were not really looking for some big bueautiful house that we know we cannot afford, were looking more along the lines of we can pay X amount a month...what can that get us? maybe a condo. maybe a Mobile home. what ever it is it will be a home of our own, a place to remain stable for at least 5 years till this market jumps back up. A place we can put our heart and soul into, work on and love. a place to grow our family. and keep us safe at night.

So please do keep your fingers crossed that we can get something. I want to move before baby jensen gets here, and preferably not anytime after 6 months prego! because ill be honest....it will be a lot of work for steven!

we shall see, even in the darkest days...the future can seem bright!

yeah i miss the nights where i slept threw the night, slept in really late in the morning, never woke up in the night. pshhh those are looooongggg gonnnnnneeee. :(
seems i cant get comfortabe in my bed. I think my husband is hogging the bed, and he is definitly hogging the covers, which is so annoying. we are totally oppisite sleepers. NOTHING wakes him up. EVERYTHING wakes me up. if he so mush as breathes funny im awake. aside from my husband, i have my dog, chomper, who is a GREAT sleeper, only he likes to cuddle and that gets kind of annoying after a few hours. OH and then i have my cat. His name is EVIL KITTLY, EK for short, and that should pretty much give you an idea of what he is like at night. Usualy he pounces on you, attacks you and bites you cause he thinks it fun, but lately he has wanted to cuddle, and he wants to be right in your face and he purrs so loud and rubs his face all over yours. annoying.
plus there is a ROOSTER that lives out side my house, and living where i do its nice and clear and the moon is bright...this rooster crows at the f-ing moon. yeah. the moon.
not only do all these things wake me up but then i get up at least once to pee, and once cause i need water.

i have a feeling this is gonna get worse before it gets better!

My husband is a hopeless Romantic, very thoughtful, and always trying to suprise me! dont get me wrong he still does ALL the annoying man things! but he did suprise me with a disneyland trip for Valentines day! I had no idea we were going untill the very last minute, he came home from work and said pack a bag were going somewhere! awww...I really thought we were going to my cousins cause I had been dying to go visit her and she lives near Montery! NOPE! We didnt get to take little miss Brynn, it was the weekend of her moms baby shower, so that was a bummer, but we had an amazing half weekend at the happiest place on earth! It was good to have some time that was just for us. we needed that! We ran around that place like little kids! It was well worth the 14 hours that we spent driving there and back! And hey it guess what? I ended up getting pregnant that weekend! who knew that a weekend at the happiest place on earth would end in the result of a brand new life! HOW AMAZING! I believe everythign happens for a reason, and all thought brynn didnt get to go, if she had we may not have been doin the deed in the hotel! lol!!!

A few weeks back we had a
little family outing to the
Exploratorium and Pier 39.
Brynn is such a little explorer,





and knowing she will carry
that knowledge with her for ever,
and one day teach her children.





Brynn and Steven made this masterpiece. She was SOOO intrigued with how this worked. It is proudly displayed in her bedroom as its a little to big for the fridge. :)
We then ventured to Pier 39 for some lunch and a carosel ride of course!